In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
