I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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