are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize