I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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