honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
