wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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