i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
