I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
