She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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