She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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