I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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