I just pynch a tree in the face
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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