I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
