I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
