As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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