Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
