What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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