I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
