How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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