Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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