You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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