My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
