drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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