I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's shark week go big or go home
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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