the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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