my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize