this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
