I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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