We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
