i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
