i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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