Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize