Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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