Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
