ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
