singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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