so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize