Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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