You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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