I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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