I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
