Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize