Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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