This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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