I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
