While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
