Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Two words: blizzard sex
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
