IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
