alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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