does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
