I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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