Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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