Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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