please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
